Much A-Waited Ultrasound

We waited, it seemed, so long for this ultrasound. But when the day came, I was afraid to go, even though I was still desperately hopeful that the news would be good. All I wanted was to see a tiny heart a-flickering.
As we walked into the ultrasound waiting room, we passed a young lady with an older couple who were holding ultrasound photos, and talking excitedly. Would that be us in half an hour?
We went into the room and told the new ultrasound tech that we were nervous because of the HCG stall. I hadn’t held my bladder long enough, so she couldn’t do an abdominal. That was ok with me–transvaginal ultrasounds are clearer this early in pregnancy. Once it started, we saw the sac (in the uterus, Thank God! Not an ectopic! That was the “worst” I was trying to prepare for…) and I got excited. I started to see a little baby lump. This is good, right?
Then she turned the screen away from us. She acted like she just needed to look intently at the image herself to make some measurements, but I knew. It was not good news. She asked if we were sure about our dates. “Pretty sure,” I said. She asked if we had an appointment. We were to stop in and talk to the doc right after the ultrasound. “Good.”
She said that the noise we would hear was the blood flowing through the ovaries. Not the noise I wanted to hear. “The doc has the report now,” she said. “You can go and he’ll explain everything to you.”
My husband, as we walked down the hall, said, “It still could be good news.” “I think it was an empty sac,” I said.
It wasn’t. The doc checked my dates. I got my first positive pregnancy test on January 13th. It was now February 7th. I should be over 7 weeks. But the baby measured only 6 weeks, 1 day. She had stopped growing over a week ago. And her heart was not beating. “Even if the dates are off,” the doc said, “we should see a little flicker. I don’t think that this is going to work out. We’ll wait until the end of the month. If nothing happens, we’ll do another ultrasound, and we may have to do some interventions.”
So we went home. And my wonderful husband had to explain to our kids that the baby had died.
And now we wait.
Ultrasound at 6 weeks
Please note: this ultrasound image is borrowed from another blog, a wonderful blog; click it to go there. We were given no photo at the end of our ultrasound, and I wish now that I had asked for one, anyway. I have no picture of Pocoyo.

Advertisements

One thought on “Much A-Waited Ultrasound

  1. I experienced a missed miscarriage of twins in November 2012. I should’ve been at least 10 weeks, but they didn’t make it past 7 wks 6 days…..I’m so sorry…Sending you lots of hugs and prayers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s